"I don’t post much like this, but as I enter a new year, I wanted to share my story in the hope that it might help someone going through similar struggles.

First and foremost, this isn’t about portraying myself as a victim or seeking sympathy. I spent the majority of my life not truly knowing who I was until now. I’m sharing this because it’s important for others to know that it’s okay to not be okay and to talk about it.

The last few years have been both amazing and incredibly difficult. I married the girl of my dreams, my best friend and together we welcomed our Son, who became my entire world. On paper, I had everything anyone could want. But deep down, something wasn’t right with me.

2023 was a rollercoaster. Mentally, I was not well. I was overwhelmed, stressed, depressed, sleepless, and constantly anxious. I fell into a darkness that felt different, something I couldn’t shake on my own this time. I lost focus at work and ended up being let go from two jobs in just 15 months.

I withdrew, isolating myself from everyone,
especially the one person I should have been leaning on most: my wife.

I became someone unrecognizable, consumed by anger, frustration, and excuses. I pushed my family and friends further away. I wasn’t a good husband, I was an absent father, and I became someone who couldn’t be trusted, a shell of the man I used to be.

Everything came to a head in 2024, it the worst year of my life. I thought I had it under control, that I was moving in the right direction, until the day I broke down and told my wife: 

“I don’t want to be in this world anymore. I’m ready to quit.” 
That moment unraveled everything.

I lost my wife and my son. I lost the only house I ever owned, the home she made for us.
I had no job, no money, and no direction.

For the next ten months, I tried desperately to fix what I had broken, but I was still spiraling. I lost weight, stopped talking, drank too much, and cried every single day.
I didn’t know how to find myself again.
I was completely lost.

When you hit rock bottom, you’re left with a choice: 
you either give up, or you take a stand. 

You lean on the people who love you, ask for help, and push forward. I chose to fight. I knew I didn’t want my son to grow up without a father. I didn’t want him to think it’s okay to give up.

It was time to hold myself accountable, to stop pointing fingers and start looking in the mirror. I had to accept my mistakes without making excuses.

I had to remind myself that while I had messed up, that didn’t define me.
This darkness wasn’t the real me.

With the support of a longtime friend at RedFlamingo, I started to heal.
I began reading, writing, and praying.
I talked to God, rediscovering my faith and feeling a shift within me.

I wrote everything down, the good and the bad, and I did it nearly every day.

I reconnected with the people who matter most to me.

I started waking up earlier to work out, and I made my son, my family, my number one priority.

Every single day is a work in progress. It’s far from easy. People change, I’ve changed, my partner has changed, we all change.

What matters is how we handle that change, how we work through it, and the roadmap we build together for our lives.

If you’re struggling, please know this: 
you are not alone. 

If something feels off, talk about it.
If you feel like you’re losing your grip, talk about it.
You’re never alone, no matter how it feels.
There is so much more to life, and while it isn’t easy, it’s worth it.

RedFlamingo is an organization dedicated to suicide prevention and awareness.
If it weren’t for those hard conversations, I don’t know where I’d be today.

So please, talk about it.

“Redefine Next"